APS Gender Inclusive Community norms for respectful engagement

These guidelines are provided to help ensure we can all engage in inclusive, equitable, and productive discussions throughout conferences and events:

• Respect how others prefer to be addressed.
• Listen actively, attentively, and respectfully.
• What is said here stays here; what is learned here leaves here. If you have questions about whether something is okay to be shared outside this session, check explicitly with the person who said it.
• Share the air. If you have been dominating the discussion or participating disproportionately, listen more and let others participate. If you haven't said much, you are encouraged to participate more.
• Be aware of group dynamics in the room. Certain individuals may frequently dominate discussions. We should ask ourselves the following questions: Who is talking the most? Who is asking the most questions? Who are the first people to be called on? Is anyone being ignored? Who is being left out of the conversation, both in and out of the room?
• Use “both/and” rather than “either/or” thinking. When confronting complex issues, the use of "either/or" thinking often oversimplifies situations and makes it more difficult to resolve conflicts. In contrast, "both/and" thinking allows us to recognize that truths are multifaceted and to come up with more options.
• “Oops,” “ouch.” Part of having these conversations is making mistakes. If you say something that could be harmful and you realize it, then you say ouch is hurtful or problematic and you realize it, you can say “oops” to acknowledge it and try again. Alternatively, if someone else said something harmful, then you can say “ouch," which serves as a marker that there is something that needs to be discussed further.
• Step toward constructive discomfort. Discussions about challenging topics often require us to examine issues that may feel uncomfortable. However, the most progress is often made by engaging thoughtfully with difficult topics so that we are able to address what needs to be addressed.
• Recognize that intent does not equal impact. We can generally assume that nearly all of us are coming with good intentions. However, sometimes we end up saying or doing something that affects others differently than we intended.
• Speak to your own experience. Using “I” or “we” statements often helps with avoiding generalizations and creates space for different perspectives and experiences.
• Discuss the content, not the person. Focus discussion and commentary on what is being said, not who is speaking. Comment on ideas rather than making assumptions about the speaker.
• We are all students and teachers. None of us has all the answers, and we all have something valuable to teach each other.
• If you have concerns or questions, please let the facilitators or conference organizers know.